Thursday, March 15, 2007

Very stressful semester

As the semester gone by, I feel the homework is getting tougher and tougher... more and more projects... not to mention I have "CS3215 Software Engineering project" this sem... that costs 8mc for this sem... really really tired... wish I have taken CS3230 last sem in which its assignments are easier... this sem's CS3230's assignments are so so so tough, although it is interesting... (享受programming的兴趣都给破坏了,成了头痛)...

Wah, it is such a long time that I last blog because being busy with my projectSSSSSssssss.... and Soiree 2007. Fortunately Soiree 2007 is done, finished, OVER after 9 March, feel really relieved that it is over... oh man but after that there are CS3215 proj iteration 2, CS3230 assg 3, CS3211 assg 1... both CS3230 assg 3 and CS3211 assg 1 now due on 19 March... which means I have 4 more days to complete both... CS3215 proj iteration 2 due on 30 March... and I have quite optimistic abt that... my group has been trying our best le...

This sem I have no hope this sem to get any A... if CS3215 can get an A- or A, that would be very great coz it represents 2 modules... but after looking thr the forum and saw how other team are doing... I feel so stress... 很想找个人可以任我倾诉我的烦恼,但是我知道,也相信唯有耶稣基督愿意。我这个sem觉得我自己不断的跌倒,不断的不知不觉地埋怨,不断的把痛苦自己担。就连当我在写着这个blog时,不断地反省,心里非常的忏悔,非常得很想哭,非常的疼痛,不断地责骂自己为何那么没有力量胜过老我,为何不求主的帮助,为何把一切交给神的忧愁又把它取回来自己背负呢?

At first I thought I can depend on CS3230 and MA1101R to pull my CAP up, but looks like this is just a "dream" and "wish"... I feel really depressed after these few weeks... working late... try to wake up early morning but can't... get back my old BAD habits which I have tried to stop... one word - TIRED...

No need to comfort me or anything... dropping weights too (this is a good thing to me... hehe... but not my family members... they will get worry btw)... I just need prayers... brothers' and sisters' prayers... may God continue to look over His children... I have faith that God will bring me through this... I need to find the narrow exit path that God has provided for me... it is the path of light... but I am still in the dark wilderness... searching for that path... I need to search my heart and check my relationship with God... am I trying to get away from my God? Just like a child who saw the toy sections and hurry pull himself away from his parents' hand... am I that child now? I believe I does look like that child... only that I am looking for my "parents" as a metaphor haha...

May the Holy Spirit in me keeps me awake and continue to walk in His path for me... keeps remind me of God's word so that I don't go to the wrong direction and blaspheme His name... may all God's children have the heart to follow the Holy Spirit and make good testimony for our Father, God. Let these few weeks be a past... as a lesson... as a trial for me to learn and reflect myself... reflect on my relationship with God... may God continue to give us the strength and wisdom for those we are doing that is in His will, that glorifies His name. May God's name be glorified forever... amen!

2 comments:

Tang said...

can de la... just do things one by one... and fear god. he will lead the way de heh... not a problem.. we been thru this kind of situation (well lighter case) few sem back... heh

if got anything, just tell god heh...

Tung Leh said...

Yeah! We did it! Thank God!