Sunday, April 29, 2007

Pack for the vacation stay...

Finally, all my papers are done on last Friday 27 Apr 2007 11am. Hehe... feel so great that the semester is finally over... all results are in God's hand. Learning to be thankful and grateful for all things He gives us. Hehe...

Has been watching this Japanese anime called "Daiku Maryu Gaiking". Consist total of 39 episodes, I have watched till episode 31 now. Hehe... 8 more to go... haha... it is a new version of what I have watched during my young age... really young... kindergarten time. Hehe... my bro and I "discovered" all the cartoons of the past... those cartoons we watched when we are in our kindergarten. Haha... Force Five series... Gaiking, Grandizer, Starvengers... and two more... these are Japanese cartoons. US bought them over from Japan and "make them speak English" Haha... For this Daiku Maryu Gaiking, it is in Japanese though... but got English translation, (that's how I manage to continue to watch... :D)

This morning I took a look at JavaScript and learning how to write javascript codes... for the sake of my HYP. Haha... also... some interesting programming language I wish I can learn are C++, Perl, Ruby, LaTex and also J3EE (which I mention I could learn during my December holiday, but don't manage too coz can't understand haha... this time will try again haha... if I willing to install NetBeans) haha...

Anyway... need to pack my things as I got a different room for my vacation stay. Hehe... it is at B1... hmm what if I exchange with my bro who got level 7... but I am a person scare of height de... also... will there b people checking? Haha... I have been living in 3rd floor... and... B1... discuss again with ya, bro... haha...

Yesterday we had a family fellowship at our brother Peter's house hehe... and we have time for sharing, singing and praying. Hehe... joyful time hehe... but some of the brothers and sisters are sick and they requires our prayers... hehe... will tell myself not to forget about them in my prayer de... may God continues to bless His children...

Please pray for me that I will not waste my 3 months holiday. Pray that I can prepare my heart to be used by God always... and I always have the fear that I can't teach. I have the fear that I will make mistakes and causing the listener to misunderstand what I have said, thus fall or bcum reluctant on hearing God's word. It always haunt me that I can only be a listener coz I can't speak well... if you ask, I can answer... but if you ask me to teach, I can feel some kinda resist force... think I have not overcome my old self... and my fear to speak... please pray that for me to gain victory over my old self... think this is an example of fear of man too... :~(


Don't know... I just afraid to speak... from young, everytime I speak, I fear that I sin against anyone beside me (or anyone listened to what I have said)... sometime I speak normally, but ppl thought that I am raising my voice... I have experienced that too myself thus I know how the listeners feel when they heard what I said... "what this guy raising his voice for when I just ask him a question?!" or "What's this person angry for?", but I... I just speaking normally "according to me"... so everytime I try to "soft" my voice down... but I was forgetful sometime... and make the old mistake thus... everyone will thod I am hot-tempered and always looking for quarrel... but that's not what I want... haiz... that's why I think the best resort is to keep myself quiet... and this has been a bad effect to me now...

Also, I afraid to stand in front of others to speak... including praying among brothers and sisters... I usually pray in my heart or when I alone... but with some brothers and sisters, I don't know why I can't pray.... always finding excuses to pass my turn (really a very very bad example for a Christian >:( )... haiz... really sad and disappointed on myself... so... this holiday I will continue to pray to God regarding this problem that I have been facing since young... need to overcome my old self... :) and I believe (have faith) that God is there for me and He will cure this problem of mine. :P

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